It's been 4 years since my last post and something compelled me to look for things from my past again. I've been itching to create, looking for inspiration, or perhaps something to ground me again. The past few years, I've been diving head first into relationships, career, school, and all of it occupied my mind in different ways. I have to admit that being busy has uprooted me and now that things are quieting, all I'm yearning for me again.
Looking back from where I'm standing now, I seem to have it all. I have the “Tuesday kind of love” that I posted about in a past blog post. I'm now engaged and planning a wedding. It's almost crazy to think about. I still think its strange to do adult things sometimes. I guess this is why I'm here. I wanted to make sure everything I'm doing is with purpose and intention, or simply because it feeds my soul. Not for the likes, the followers, the impressions. I don’t even think people read this blog, which is a way for me to write to an unknown reader. But really I'm writing for myself. Thoughts out loud.
I guess I need to talk to myself again. There was this quote I saw online that goes something like “if you don't talk to yourself, then you’ll only listen to yourself”. Talking myself out of doubt, fear, loneliness, sadness had been a way for me to keep grounded and remember who I am. I'm my best advocate and best friend.
With 2017 being so drastically strange and different, what better place to go on spend my birthday than in the land of contrasts. With its rough, black lava rocks peeking beneath the plush, white layer of snow, we see contrasting elements juxtaposed everywhere. It is, after all, the land of fire and ice.
Over the weekend, Lady Bird won a Golden Globe for Best Picture - Comedy or Musical, and an enormous wave pride swept over Sacramento as we watched Greta Gerwig give her acceptance speech. “I want to thank my mom and dad and the people of Sacramento, who gave me roots and wings and helped me get where I am today,” she exclaimed in tears. “Thank you, thank you!”
I am so honored and proud to be part of the Women's March last weekend. The day before, I watched Trump's Inauguration and then stood amongst thousands of people in front of the Capitol the following day, showing each other that we are not alone.
I'm so lucky to live close to Lake Tahoe, where it's beautiful year-round. This Christmas, my family rented a cabin where we enjoyed the snow with the kids.
Thailand is one of those countries where everyone should go to. It offers something for everyone; for instance, within the capital city of Bangkok itself, there is a bustling city full of nightlife, shopping at Siam Center, riding tuk tuks, and sampling street food, while quietly scattered throughout the city are historical temples, built so elaborately for past kings.
Sometimes, we find explanations for life in odd metaphors.
When my college boyfriend and I broke up several years ago, I remembered it like a fire - heated and painful. It was like all the years we grew up together suddenly caught on flames and then burned down right in front of us.
Michelle Obama made a wonderful speech for Hillary Clinton last night. She spoke eloquently about raising her daughters during this important time and uniting for change. This passage perfectly sums up how far we've come:
I wake up every morning in a house that was built by slaves. And I watch my daughters, two beautiful, intelligent, black young women, playing with their dogs on the White House lawn. And because of Hillary Clinton, my daughters and all our sons and daughters now take for granted that a woman can be president of the United States.
With all the crazy noise going on this year, it's hard to hear the quiet change that's happening underneath us. Tonight marks the first time a woman is nominated for President. Finally, after months of terrible news, it seems that the people are feeling a bit of hope that something is going to be done and it's going to be done through optimism and love. Change is already happening.
I took advantage of the post-Memorial Day weekend to go up to Lake Tahoe and explore the trails for the first time. The trail I chose was Rubicon Trail, which seemed the most picturesque because you would have views of Emerald Bay throughout most of the hike. For a 8 mile hike, it's hard to be bored. At one point, we were hiking through a woodsy area where a fellow hiker pointed out that he saw two bears walking by the trail. We didn't see it ourselves, but since it's Tahoe, bears are always scoping out foods near campsites.
Netflix's new special, Ali Wong: Baby Cobra, is fierce and edgy. It's great to see a pregnant, Asian, female comedian, doing stand-up, and it's even cooler that her jokes wasn't all about her belly until much later in the show. That's because she's much more than that. Her content range from "trapping" the perfect man, Asian women and longevity, going to the bathroom at work, sex with homeless guys, to "leaning in".
Marc Maron praised her comedy in his podcast and even admired her for being so different. She's from San Francisco, Chinese-Vietnamese-American, and is a writer for ABC's Fresh Off the Boat. Her career is vivid, just like her.
I recently discovered this song at the end of Season 2 of Transparent. It's beautiful and haunting, and fits perfectly with the scene. Ever since then, it hasn't left me.
Elizabeth Gilbert once wrote a letter to her former lover about letting things fall apart. In Italy, she observed the Augusteum in Rome and reflected that "ruin is a gift, ruin is the road to transformation." And as I walked through Greece on my own journey, seeing the giant, gorgeous, ancient ruins with my own eyes, I wondered how many times will I get to be rebuilt as well.
Netflix recently debuted Master of None, a smart comedy about a New Yorker navigating through life with modern worries. Like Aziz Ansari's comedy stand-up and his book Modern Romance, his new show is full of poignant observations about love and it's perfectly doused in humor to avoid the cliche.
His study of love is not only about romance, but it's also about family. The actors portraying his on-screen parents are actually his real mom and dad! And it's really sweet to see how they interact, in the second episode. Perhaps what Aziz does best is exploring all sides: the point of view of parents, the other person in an affair, women, elders, etc. Every episode is a thoughtful insight in the new way we manage relationships, while still trying to keep ourselves intact.
[ photo: Gene Kelly in Little Girls of Rochefort ]
After telling my co-workers how stressed I was and didn't get how they weren't as worried as I was every day. They gave me a simple answer: the older you get, the less you worry about the details of work.
As you get older, you will accumulate more things to care about, things that will matter more to you than data on spreadsheets. You will learn that the world won't collapse when things don't go right. Actually, in many cases, as you lose sleep about the minutiae, the solution will present itself tomorrow anyways.
I had always thought the answer was quite the opposite. That our lives should be centered on our jobs, that our work defines us and we should always strive for perfection. But as those wiser than me advised, our work really is important, but it is certainly not everything. We don't always have to take it so seriously. In fact, when we focus so much on the little things, we miss the bigger picture.
A post on Dear Linette blog featured a letter Lisa Ling wrote to her younger self. I found the letter really honest and sweet how her thoughts completely shifted from when she was a teenager.
A photo posted by First Lady Michelle Obama (@michelleobama) on
I've been very blessed to have had so many access to education growing up. I was fortunate to start my learning young, when I went to a cool preschool in a building that was constructed in the 1850's, where it instilled the basic principles of creativity. I then transferred to several schools as I progressed, and it broadened my scope of diversity and understanding of other kids and their different backgrounds. For a few years during elementary, I also was enrolled in a private school, where it taught me to question my beliefs and introduced me to the concept of spirituality. One grade-level at a time, it wasn't long before I propelled myself into high-school; and I always knew that this was the time that mattered. From what I understood, by observing the other students around me, there was not much that separated us from each other, except for our motivation. Although I wasn't the top student, I knew that I wasn't handicapped from the rewards that were offered either. If all you had to do was try your best, then why not?
Michelle Obama launched a campaign that advocates just that: take advantage of the education around you. We are so lucky, in the United States, to have so much access to school. Even if it's not perfect, or it's difficult, it's so important to stay in it and try your best. There's nothing you can't do with education and it's impossible to learn enough.
"But this is just four or five little years of your life ... don't sweat the small stuff. What is important right now is who you're going to be and how you're developing that part of yourself. So, go to school. Focus on your homework. Don't worry about what your friends are saying that much -- because half these people you're not going to know when you're sixty. It doesn't matter what they say or think right now."
While to us, school may be feel standard and it's so easy to take it for granted. There are so many children in the world who do not even have a chance to learn. Whether it be due to cultural beliefs or societal norms, girls, especially, are deprived at the chance to learn. Education is one of the most valuable resource kids need to consume constantly. As they invest in themselves, they will become the strong leaders who will notice the gaps in our world and have knowledge to enrich their community. But first, they need to have the same opportunity as me.
To learn more and make an impact, visit Let Girls Learn. You can also join the campaign by instagraming or tweeting a photo of yourself (as mine above) and share what you learned in school. #62milliongirls and join the yearbook: http://62milliongirls.com/
